CRE8TIVE MOJO GOES TO TEEYAN DE MALA ( CELEBRATION WITH WOMEN)

MOST OF THE TIME, I forget I am Punjabi. It is very sad that I do that. I am first generation Punjabi, Sikh and Indian. I lost a lot of my culture, yet I still have some friends that invite me out to local jersey city Punjabi functions, even though they know how american I am. It is hard to explain, but growing up I wasn't allowed to cut my hair, and neither were my brothers. I wore a very long braid. It was beautiful, actually. My name is unisex-MANDEEP. It means light of the mind.

My dad wears a turban. Growing up, he use to scare me by saying, if i got bad grades he would go to school and talk to my teacher. I would get so nervous, because I didn't want the other kids to see him and make fun of me because my dad wore a turban. One time, a classmate thought my dad was a real life Geenie from a bottle.

Anyways, there are many things that I love about my culture. The bhangra dance moves, the Punjabi food, the textiles of the Punjabi suits, the weddings, the jokes, and most of all, the Punjabi people I love so much. I miss my grandma who still lives in Punjab. She is what I miss the most about being Punjabi. She has the best laugh. I promised her that I would find a guy to marry before she passed away. She is my only grandparent left. My dad's mom was amazing too. She basically raised us in USA. She had an amazing laugh too. She would laugh as we would try to speak Punjabi. My Punjabi is so horrible.

It's usually a battle between being Punjabi or america...Like who do I swipe right on my dating apps, what friends do I feel closest to, should I go to temple every Sunday? Before I knew I wanted to marry a Punjabi Sikh guy. Now, it all feels so confusing.