Cre8tive Mojo's top ten rules of dating in your 30's.

Recently, I got a chance to finally hang one on one with my ex love. He filled me in on his life. As he was talking, I noticed why I had fell so hard. He was upfront. What I saw was what I got. Also, he is sooo sexy when he says some things. ANOTHER thing that made me fall, was that he wanted to be my friend and get to know me: no sex. I remember, at that time, I was DYING to be with him. IT was so crazy. Now, I kind of laugh at myself. That's when I learned the important things I need in a relationship: A friendship no judgement zone, upfront and honesty, and chemistry.

Dating in your 30's is a different ball game. You meet someone, either through an app, friends or family. You get dressed up and show up on a date. Once you are face to face with your date, we check the chemistry. On the date, we talk about ourselves and ask important questions to see if a second date is going to happen. More importantly, we try to make a fast judgement about a person after a couple of hours. Then, we go home, or we get a little tipsy and make out. Whatever the case, the date ends, and we say goodbye.

Then, we go on another date and it is the same fucking thing. It seems so administrative. I am still single, so please don't take my advice on dating seriously...but I do have some tips that I feel everyone should consider.

1. Dating should be fun. Learn how to make it fun--go to your favorite places, check out some museums, some live bands---learn to be open to having company and experiencing new things.

2. Make up your FUCKING mind- what are you looking for? A fling, a boyfriend, a therapist? Trust me, be honest with yourself. I wasn't really seriously looking until this year and I just turned 33.

3. Fuck the societal pressure to get married, and remember the importance of falling in love. Love can't be rushed. It's easy. Don't rush. Feel the moments, laugh at the jokes, devour the synergy and allow things to unfold.

4. Ask questions, and be a smart buyer. I remember by the third time I saw the guy I last fell for, I knew everything. He was was open about his past heartbreaks, life struggles and everything. I learned to listen for the things he said, and the things he didn't say. Basically, it was going to take him time.BE yourself, and be upfront about what you have been through. Open up.

5. Let's think about this---the rest of your life with one person--yourself. You know yourself the most. What is what you need. Make a list on what QUALITIES you liked from past relationships, friends and family. Then make another list on WHAT qualities you didn't like. Then start crossing off till you get to the ONE BIG THING YOU NEED IN A PERSON AND THE ONE BIG THING YOU DON'T NEED.

6. GET SOME HOBBIES---join the swimming team, volunteer, intern some where, join a writing meetup. GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER.

7. And smile, don't give up on finding love--you are worth it and don't settle. Just know what you will compromise on.

8. Know when you should retreat and take a break from dating. Sometimes we need a break to realign.

9. ALWAYS MEET FOR COFFEE FIRST. Do not do drinks!! it sets the tone for actually getting to know the person. Also, you won't get fucked up on a extra strong latta.

10. NEVER, ever, ever stay on a bad date, bad sex, in a relationship or in a fucked up situation. YOU DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME. Find a way to move on fast.

=)

xo

cre8tive mojo